Why are kids so destructive? I don't mean in the normal kid way. Well, maybe I do, but what is it about them that just makes them want to DESTROY?? Maybe it's just mine, but I swear to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, it makes me want to break shit!
I can clean a room like nobody's business and 3 days later walk into a bomb site. Stuffed animals everywhere, crayons, little, teeny, tiny bits of paper that have been meticulously torn to shreds. What the fuck, man? My computer chair has been reduced to a cardboard bottom with a fake ass leather coating due to the padding being pulled out over time. Every time I go into the basement, I find little pieces of foam strewn all over the carpet. Poor chair. What did it ever do to them to deserve such poor treatment? It makes me want to cry and throw the kids away. Maybe I can still put them up for adoption. Of course, if I did that, they would be returned to me within hours as they would just go and destroy their new mother's home.
I have finally become the mother I never wanted to be. Uptight, but also resigned. I don't even bother saying anything about most stuff anymore, but totally freak out every once in awhile when it becomes too much for me to take. I know my kids are going to grow up thinking I am bi-polar and tell their friends that their mother is a complete fucking loon and needs to be put away. "Mom. What are you doing? Put the chair down and just back away." Some day, when it's legal, I am going to take up pot smoking. Then I really won't care. I will probably think it is rather funny and laugh at the crazy shit those little bastards tear up. That is, until they have me committed and I can no longer have a joint when I feel overwhelmed. Hmmmm...that might be a plan. Get committed, be alone. No more basement, no more toys, no more little bits of crayon wrappers to clean up! Imma start working on that RIGHT NOW!!
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