I Am The Coolest!!!

I have this secret love for cheesy music that I can no longer deny.  I mean, I don't personally think it is cheesy, but I know that some others might.  Or maybe they just hide it like I do and really rock the shit out of it every chance they get.  Whatever the case may be, I love it with all my heart.
     Whenever I hear Journey come on the radio, I instantly turn that shit up and dream I can sing just like Steve Perry, but in woman form.  I am instantly transformed into the most AMAZING singer in the world and no one can escape my absolute coolness. I know that everyone driving past me is thinking, "Damn!!  That girl can sing some fuckin' Journey!!".  How could they not?  I am awesome and my whole being exudes my grandness.  People wanna be near me.  No.  They want to BE me.  Because I am a star and can wail out "Wheel in the Sky" like it was written just for me.  I am also about to take Daryl Hall's job because, while he can sing, I sing WAY better than that guy!!  I am also prettier.  And, I can do something he can't.  I can play air guitar while drinking coffee and driving a stick shift, maybe text too.  John Oates picked the wrong partner.  You know who else picked the wrong partner?  Andrew Fuckin' Ridgeley.  HUGE mistake!!  Even at 7, I could have sung "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" in a fashion unknown to humankind.  Wham! would still be together today if I had been chosen instead of George Michael.
     There are some bands that I never really got on board with, even though I have TRIED to like them.  REO Speedwagon.  meh.  The lead singer annoys me for some reason.  I think it is his hair.  Not really good hair for long hair.  Always looks like it should be in mullet form.  Also, Supertramp is just sorta whatever.  When I hear them, I kinda start to think I like them and then, just like that, I am turned off.  Also the lead singer.  His voice is sorta whiney and annoying.  Actually, I think when I don't like a band, most of the time, it is because of the lead singer.  Green Day.  Billie Joe Armstrong's voice grates on my nerves.  Sings like he is 5.  Linkin Park.  Chester Bennington can't scream for shit and he is ugly.  I want to punch him in the nuts, maybe it would help.  Rush.  Geddy Lee looks like a witch who will make you sign away your first born in blood and then steal away into the night and he sings like a banshee.  Imma start calling him Rumpelstiltskin.  Bush.  Gavin Rossdale is just fucking boring as all hell.  Pretty though.  I'd do him. but PLEASE, for the love of GOD, don't sing, Gavin.  I'll just fall asleep.
     So, yeah.  I don't really know what my original point was of this post, but whatever.  Ending on a poor note about music sucks, so I better go and listen to "The Devil Went Down To Georgia" to perk me up.  Gotta brush up on my air fiddle.