You know how it feels when you have finished something really big, or you are about to do something really important and exciting? A sense of pride may swell inside your chest or you may feel so much excitement and anticipation that you get a little high. It feels soooo awesome! But wait, what's this? Shit. Here comes the parade pisser to ruin your buzz!! Everyone knows at least one of these people, if not more. They are the friends that, no matter what you do or how excited you are, have to come along and tell you why it isn't worth being excited over. I am not sure why they feel the need to say every single thing that crosses their mind, but these people tend to be the biggest breakers of the Sometimes you just need to Shut.The.Fuck up rule.
"I am running my marathon tomorrow!!"
"UGH! I don't know how you can do that! I HATE running. It is sooooo boring!"
Nice. thank you for sharing. Now I feel like crap, but I am glad to know that running is not something you plan on doing.
"I got to go grocery shopping without my kids today. So peaceful!"
"Wow. So happy I decided not to have kids. I never want grocery shopping to be the thing I do for fun. Grocery shopping is horrible!"
Uhhh...yeah.
"I am planning on hiking the Appalachian Trail with my family!"
"I used to hike, but found it so unfulfilling. Now I just sit on my ass all day and eat potato chips."
Well, I guess it is a good thing I did not invite you to come with us, or you would be left for dead on the trail somewhere after I ripped your tongue out of your stupid face.
I am not even sure they realize they are doing it half the time because it seems like it is about EVERYTHING. Gotta a new hairdo you like? No problem. Parade pisser will let you know why it's ugly. Lost some weight? PP can make you feel like you are still fat. Met someone new? Not only will PP tell you why they are not good enough, they will also tell you why you will NEVER find anyone good enough. When you think you are feeling too great about yourself, no one can make you feel like shit better than PP.
Now, I know what you are thinking. Why would I care about what someone else thinks or says about me? Why can't I just brush off a stupid person's comments?? Because, silly, I am a narcissist and I need to be VALIDATED! And yes, I realize I could just choose to stay away from these negative people, but EVERYONE needs to recognize how awesome I am. So I will continue to grace them with my awesomeness until they can finally admit, wow! She's AMAZING! And until that day comes, I will be right here, bitching about them incessantly.
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