What makes chatting on the internet so appealing? I do not think it is NOT appealing, I am just wondering what makes it so. I, myself, am a self-diagnosed chat addict, but why? Why is this thing so addictive? I have given it some serious thought and soul searching and here are some things I have noticed.
When I wake up in the morning and I have finished breakfast, I take my first cup of coffee to my living room. There I sit in my big, comfy leather chair and snuggle up in my afghan, coffee by my side. When I open my e-mail to see which little yellow lights are on (or green, because I have more than one e-mail account of course!), a little charge of excitement runs through my body. Who is going to be on there? What are we going to chat about? Who cares? Someone is going to pay attention to ME!! Why? Because I am the only person that exists in the universe! And as I settle in and open the little chat box, a sense of calm and peace washes over, like a warm bath that you don't want to leave. It sounds so awesome, right? WRONG!!! Chatting sucks. Not the concept as much as the actual action itself. The idea that you can get on the computer and have a quick conversation with someone seems ideal, and should be. You can ask quick questions in real time without worrying about children interrupting, you can keep in touch with people without using the phone (I like this very much), you can joke around and act stupid where no one can see you. The problem is, chat is not real. It does not replace human contact and does not even resemble a normal conversation. You don't know what I am talking about? Here are some examples of greetings used (at least in my world) in chat and why they are not acceptable to use when actually greeting someone in person:
"Meehaw" - I would never in a million years greet someone in this way. It doesn't make any sense and, as far as I know, is not a real word. At least not in English anyway.
"Meh" - Yeah, again. Not a greeting. Ever.
"Fleh" - Kinda like Meh, but not. I have never greeted someone in this manner in real life and if I were to do so I might get punched.
"Shploog" - Ummmmm?????
"Meow" - Just, no.
But the greetings are really just the beginning. The whole conversation tends to just go south from there. Not that there is NEVER important stuff in there, but really, it is sporadic and all over the map. An example of an actual conversation might go something like this:
"Oh, Jill! I am so upset about your car crash!! Is there anything I can do?"
"Thank you Stephanie. I will let you know. Things are looking fine for now, but we may need some help down the road."
"Oh good. Let me know!"
Now, here is the conversation on chat:
"Oh Jill! I am so sorry about your accident! Shit, hold on...brb"
"k"
"Goddamn it. Billy shit on the kitchen floor! For fuck's sake! Okay, sorry. Anyway, is there anything I can do for you?"
"No, I think we are ok for now...AAAAAARRRRGGGGH!! Wait a sec. Susie is screaming at the top of her lungs because she wants another fucking glass of milk!"
Do you see where the disconnect is? A lot of time is spent waiting on chat. And when you are addicted, you waste a lot of time that way. Again, I like chatting, but doing it all the time makes you miss out on social interaction.
Another thing that is bothersome is the fact that you are not really real on chat. Not that you are lying or anything, it's just you only let the people see who you are in chat, not who you are in real life. And usually that is a very teeny, tiny fraction of your whole person. Especially because you can not see what the other person is saying. Facial expressions and body language are a HUGE part of a person. When you chat, you have to imagine how the other person is saying it. Lots and lots of things can be misunderstood if you are not VERY familiar with the person to which you are chatting. Like this:
"My ho, my ho. What's up???"
So, I know this is clearly a joke, right? Unfortunately, I accidentally signed into a person that I volunteer with and said this, meaning it for someone else. For realz. Luckily, she never responded and never brought it up, but what if I had said, "God!! Where the fuck have you been, bitch!" or "You mother fucker!"? I don't think that would have gone over too well.
When I finally started to realize there may be an issue, my real self wrote down some questions for my chat self to see how bad it was:
Q: How many hours a day do you spend on chat?
A: Consecutively, or total?
FAIL
Q: What is the first thing you do in the morning?
a) Make your bed
b) Make breakfast
c) Sign on to your computer
d) Carry your computer around while you complete your tasks
A: I don't literally carry it around...
FAIL
Q: When you are out of your house, do you think about chatting?
A: Not if I am with the people I would chat with.
ERRRRRR!!! TRIPLE FAIL
So what is the solution to this problem? I have no fucking clue. But I am grateful for chat. It has made me come to the realization that I am not alone. Somehow I just need to learn to control it, by blogging for example. I am just wondering how long it will take me to become dependent on this. ;)
Good points, all.
ReplyDeleteI have a tendency to be a descriptivist when it comes to emerging language memes. So SMS language (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMS_language) doesn't really bother me, nor does the influence of the Simpsons on modern English usage. ('Meh' was actually a spoken word before it became widely typed on the internet - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meh).
The thing is, all of the jokey ways we greet each other on the internet are community building. Shared instances of unique slang in small groups help identify members, build camaraderie and trust, and reinforce communicative norms. It does get silly when we slip up, and speak to 'outsiders' using our group slang, but the same is true for the inadvertent slip up in a workplace meeting or on a telephone call.
And where would we be without cockney rhyming slang? I suggest it was (or is!) met with the same level of derision.
Chatting definitely does have its limitations when it compared to face-to-face communications, both formal and casual. Similar to e-mail (or letters!), you're limited to the written word, left to wonder how the non-verbal cues would have changed the message.
And there can be a tension between the 'private' nature of chat vs. the informal, as evinced by your car crash example. During private communications, we are much more likely to share intimate thoughts or troubling experiences. Typically not so much for informal methods. With chat, an informal, private conversation, lines do get blurred.
Nonetheless, I think there really is something else going on here, which you hint at towards the end of your declamation. Chat is an enticing way to feed our obsessions, avoidances or escapism. It is not a bad thing by itself. Much like movies, music, work, exercise, reading, the giant rubber band ball in your backyard, animal rights, animal wrongs, television, eating cheeseburgers or owning too many cats, it can be bad for people who use it unwisely. It is playing with fire, and everything is fire.
No, chat is not the problem. I'm wishing I had that Maredsous 10 right about now...