I am a person that does have certain causes I believe in. Sometimes I feel very strongly about them because I know them to be right, other times I think maybe I start to feel out of control in my own world, so I adopt a cause to get through the chaos. Luckily for me, I have a pretty short attention span and get bored fairly quickly. It doesn't usually take too long before I have backed away from causes that don't really mean that much to me (I actually back away from lots of things I get bored with, which doesn't give me much hope for this blog). Whatever the reason I am involved in a cause, I do not advertise it on my car.
This is a phenomenon that I have never really understood. It isn't that I think that people should not be involved in their causes, or that the causes are even something I disagree with. I just don't really understand who the bumper sticker is for. Is it so you can flag down gay rights activists and make a gay friend? Is it to try to convince the pro-choice driver that it is immoral to have an abortion? Is it just to let people know that when you have a rebel flag bumper sticker on your car you are a giant fucker and, most likely, a raging redneck? I have thought about this a lot.
At one time, I did have two stickers on my car that advertised groups I was a member of. They were not inflammatory stickers or overly in your face, but they were advertisements all the same. I actually still belong to one group, I just don't publicize it on my car. Anyway, I have thought about why, at the time, it was so important for me to have these on my car and I have come up with a few theories:
1. I am an attention whore. I do not think this is uncommon in people. I truly believe that deep down people either believe that the world does or should revolve around them. I know I do. So, my causes are the most important because I am the only person in the universe.
2. I want to feel pride in something. It makes people feel proud to be involved in a cause they think helps society in some way. Right? If I have a bumper sticker that states I am a good person, then I must be saving the planet. I am making a contribution and I want everyone to know about it. Also, see number 1.
3. I like to feel like I am part of a group and that I am important to their survival. Everyone wants to belong on some level, whether it be in school, the workplace, or just in life. Even people who don't care, care about something. So, when you support a cause and buy your little sticker to place on your car and drive around to show it off, what you are really showing is that you are important to that group, maybe even the most important member of that group. Also, see number 1.
4. I wanna fight someone. This does not necessarily apply to everyone, but it most certainly applies to me. I don't really want to throw down, well maybe I do, but mostly I just want to get into an argument at the very least. For me it releases stress and anger that is bottled up and that is always more important than how someone else feels because they are wrong and I am right. The whole world is against me. Also, see number 1.
Another type of advertisement that boggles my mind are the weird, inappropriate TMI stickers. I saw one today that read: "Farmers like to do it in the dirt". WTF??? Thank you, John Deere lover, but I REALLY did not need to picture your sweaty, hick self doing it in the dirt. And honestly? Why would that be a turn on? Dirt is fucking disgusting. No. This one is a real gem: "I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day." That one would totally be cool on MY car, but seriously? How do you know I am ugly? Maybe you are ugly. And what does that mean anyway? That you assume I want to sleep with your conceited ass? Dumbasses.
Now I come to the thing that I absolutely can not stand. It makes me want to shoot laser beams out of my eyes every time I see them. The ribbon magnets. They might be the most ridiculous fucking thing ever invented. I am sure the people purchasing them mean well and I am not trying to make light of some of the messages, but PUH-LEASE!!! "Support our Troops". Yes, I am aware that there are some people in this country who do not like the military, but I think it is pretty safe to say that MOST support our troops and do not wish them harm. What this ribbon really screams to me is, "If you do not believe in the wars we are fighting, then you do not support our troops" or "If you are not with us, you are against us". Re-DICK. "Save our strays". Guh, w-o-w. I actually saw a ribbon one time that said, "I love My Cats". WHAT??? Someone actually paid fucking money for that shite. I love my cats. Good to know, dickwad.
I think i am gonna start making my own. "My couch is pretty". "I LOVE my hair" "My foot hurts" "I have vaginal dryness". I think all of these would be perfectly acceptable in our society, don't you?
Oh, and for anyone interested:
http://www.bbtoystore.com/store/CM_zygrabbag.html
You can get 5!!
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