Um, I Think It's Time For You To Leave

Sadness is a funny thing.  Some people may call it depression, but I prefer not to use that word.  It doesn't feel like depression, it just feels sad.  Anyway, Sadness.  I swear, she is like the guest that you had no intention of entertaining, or even inviting for that matter.  She just shows up at your door, unannounced, carrying her 6 piece luggage and settles in for an undetermined amount of time.  

Me:  Oh, Sadness!!  Um, I...wasn't aware that you were coming for a visit.

Sadness:  Oh well, I was going to be in the area, so I thought I would just drop in for a bit.

Me:  Uh, yeeeaaah.  Well, the thing is, I wish you would have called first.  Now is really not the best time.  The kids have school, the house needs to be cleaned, clothes need to be washed, and I really, really need to catch up on my toenail picking and hair twiddling.  Do you think we could do it another time?

Sadness:  Oh, you know me!!  I will be no bother at all!  You won't even know I am here!  Just go about your daily business and I will take care of myself.

Just like that, Sadness pushes right past you, knocking you on the ground with her oversized bags, giving no indication of how long she will stay.  That's when she takes over and starts bossing the family around.

"Mom!!  Sadness just yelled at me for sliding across the living room floor."

"I'm sorry honey.  You know how Sadness can be."

"Mom!!  Sadness says there is no Santa!!"

"Just ignore her.  She is a bitter, old bitch."

"Mom!!  Sadness said if I don't shut the fuck up she is going to sell me to a band of Gypsies!!"

"Next time, you tell HER to shut the fuck up."

Sadness also has to interrupt everything.  "Oh, don't worry about the laundry!!  Come sit with me for awhile and just stare out the window."  "Stop trying to do crafts with your kids.  Let's go look up pretty clothes on the internet."  "If the children have missed a bath for 5 days, what's one more?  Let's cry ourselves to sleep in your warm bed!!"

Then there is the escape attempt.

Me:  Sadness, I'll be back in a little bit.  I need to go for a run.

Sadness:  Oh!!  I LOVE running!!  Hold on and let me get my shoes.  I will join you!!

Me:  Er, no, really.  That's okay.  I prefer to run alone.

Sadness:  Pish posh!!  Don't be silly!  No one wants to be alone!!

She follows you everywhere.  Yoga, Walmart, Post Office, the shower.  It is finally realized that there is no escape.  Defeat and acceptance set in.  But wait, what's this?  Are those Sadness's bags by the door?  Is that her coat in her hand?  Hat on her head?

Me:  Sadness, leaving so soon?  It feels like you just got here.

Sadness:  Oh, I have stayed much longer than I had originally planned.  I have many other people to visit.  I wouldn't want anyone to think I have a favorite!!

Me:  Well, it has been a pleasure seeing you again.  Let me know before you come the next time.

Sadness:  It HAS been lovely!  Well, off I go!!  Until next time, Love!

And just as quickly as she appeared, she is gone.  You swear that the next time will be different.  You will remember to dead bolt the front door, put your foot down, punch her in the face if you have to.  But you know deep in your heart that those things won't happen and Sadness will worm her way back in sooner or later.  Let's just hope it is later rather than sooner.