You Should Never Work With People, Ever.

Today started off to be a pretty good day.  Had an awesomely, cold run this morning.  Went to pick up my new glasses, which I LOVE.  Took the kids to Jerry's Subs for lunch.  Disgusting.  Kinda tasted like a mixture of sweat, dog shit, and mayo, but it made them happy.   Then met up with an old friend at Borders and let the kids play around in the children's section.  This is where my black heart turned just the tiniest bit blacker and my ass kicking self wanted to make an appearance.
     Between my friend and me there were 4 kids, 3 of which were mine.  All of them were playing with the stuffed animals and puppets, making a little bit of a mess, but it was contained and they were peaceful.  Oh, and did I mention we were in the Children's section?  So, an employee walks by and looks at some of the toys on the floor, but doesn't seem to mind stepping over them.  My friend, we will call her MF, apologizes and promises we will clean it up.  Okay, cool.  The employee seems satisfied.  A couple minutes later a different employee walks up, looking annoyed, and takes an exaggerated step over the toys.

MF:  We promise we will pick those up before we leave.

Employee:  (In an "I'm joking, but not really" tone)  Well, you better!!!!

Alright whatever.  I was annoyed, but not too bad.  The kids weren't doing anything wrong and, again, we were in the Children's Section.  So we continued to let them play and go about their business.  Oh, and by the way, at this time there were maybe two other people milling behind one of the other shelves in that part of the store.
     Another few minutes go by and the same employee walks up.  And I know I am a bitch, but she looked like an ogre (please see very first post).

Ogre Lady:  (Directed towards MF and me in the most ogrey tone imaginable)  Okay, this is turning into a problem.  It would probably be best if you cleaned as you go.  Someone could trip.

MF:  Okay, yes.  Baby boy, please pick up those toys and put them away.

Me:  ...

Ogre Lady:  (to my 3 year old in the most snappy way as she was trying to stack a boxed toy) Just, just put it here! <insert annoyed sigh>

Me:  ...

Me:  (to MF as Ogre Lady walked away)  Aren't we in the Children's Section?????

As the kids were picking up the toys, I imagined the way I wished the conversation had gone.

Ogre Lady:  Okay, this is turning into a problem.  It would probably be best if you cleaned as you go.  Someone could trip.

Me:  A problem for who?  You?  The two people who can be heard over here, but not seen?  Did someone complain?  Can you not see where the kids are playing?

Ogre Lady:  Look Ma'am...

Me:  Oh no you di'n't!!!  I will Ma'am your ass all the way to next Tuesday, Bitch!

Ogre Lady:  No, I just meant...

Me:  No, I know what you meant you skank!  You meant that you think we don't know how to CONTROL our children!!  You meant you hate our children and wish we would beat the shit out of them so they wouldn't make such messes.  You meant that you hate ALL little kids and wish they would follow the seen but not heard rule!  I know what you fuckin' meant!

Ogre Lady:  No, I...I'm sorry.

Me:  I know you're sorry, now apologize, Scag, before I kut ur ass!! (I produce kitchen shears at this point)

MF:  Yeah, Ho.  You best be steppin'!! (pulls brass knuckles out of her purse and puts them on)

Ogre Lady:  <runs away, weeping>

Did this happen?  No, of course not.  It never does.  I always sit there with an expression of disbelief, knowing that if I open my mouth the venom might escape.  Then I just talk behind their back with my friends about what assholes they are.
     I just don't get it.  Why did she have to be so snippity?  Why couldn't I think of anything to say to her that would not have been combative but still put her in her place?  Why would you work somewhere like that if you clearly thought all kids should rot in Hell?  I just made that up, but she seemed like the type.  And why, oh why, for the love of of JEEBUS, WHY does Border's have a CHILDREN'S SECTION built for CHILDREN if they do not want kids to come there to PLAY????  Just sayin'.