I just realized something today. I have a really bad habit of saving things that are not worth saving. Well, okay, I didn't just realize it today. I have always known that I had a little problem throwing shit away. It used to be stuff like papers. Just weird, random pieces of paper with numbers written on them, or old bills, envelopes, Christmas cards. You name it. If it once came from a tree, I kept it.
I also kept a bunch of old crap from high school in a box. Pictures, my tassel from graduation, my letter, some pins. I used to have a fanny pack (yes, I said fanny pack) stuffed with old notes I had received from friends during school. I know there were at least 50 notes in that thing, all folded into some fucked up geometric shape. I finally got rid of them all, only to regret it and wish I still had them to reread and laugh at how dumb I was. Hopefully I got rid of the fanny pack, though. Not only because fanny packs are the biggest fashion crime ever, but also because it was red with fake, suede tassels on it. I think I still have the box somewhere under my stairs with the intention of revisiting my childhood.
As an adult, the main thing I have a problem with is reading and deleting e-mails. If I see an e-mail that I don't need, instead of just throwing it away, I leave it right there in the inbox. I pretend like I don't know why I do this, but that is a lie. Somehow, I think I may need it. Like it just might have something I will need to reference down the road or something. I am afraid to get rid of it because my life may just depend on that obscure e-mail that I don't even really need to open. The saddest thing is, I have a tendency to delete e-mails that I really should save. It is totally fucked up, but whatever. I eventually go through and clean up to start over with a blank slate.
Anyway, back to today's realization. I was putting clothes away, thinking how badly I needed to purge some of my kids' clothes, when I came upon a pair of my pajama pants. No big deal, right? Well, my husband bought me the pajamas 5 years ago for Christmas. They were somewhere around 50 bucks, which I find ridiculous for a pair of PJs, but they were a gift. Not long after I was given these pajamas, they ripped a little on the seam in the ass. I was not bothered by this and continued to wear them. Over time, the tear became bigger and bigger, eventually becoming a gaping hole, exposing most of my ass and a good part of my leg. How do I know this? Because I continued to wear them. I continued to wear a piece of raggedy, trashy piece of cloth that completely showed my whole ass. Who the fuck does that?? Apparently, I do.
So, what did I do when I found these horribly shredded pajamas today? Did I throw them out? Did I cut them up to use as dusting cloths? Did I place them in my craft box to use for something? NO!! I neatly folded them up and put them in my closet to be worn later. That makes me a sick bitch.
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